Quick to the Wick?  ADHD and Emotions

Quick to the Wick?  ADHD and Emotions

Anger is an outward expression of frustration that is often linked to ADHD.

“This guy was being a complete idiot at work, not doing his job causing us all to fall behind on our project,  so I called him out on it and gave him a piece of my mind.  He deserved it and yet I am the one who got written up for being disruptive to the co-workers!“

Sound familiar?

Why do many people with ADHD see red so quickly and feel they “have to” react to a situation?

Emotional dysregulation is a common association with ADHD, caused by Emotional Distress Syndrome, which is the cumulative effect of the neurological processing differences and behavioral changes associated with ADHD.

What?!   I will explain.

Emotional Dysregulation has a lot of negative effects on people. They tend to struggle with  impulsiveness, intenseness, disruptiveness and heightened emotions.     In addition, their social interactions with colleagues can be  filled with misunderstandings and miscommunications due to a reduced ability to self-regulate their actions, memory and attention issues related to ADHD.

Due to these Dysregulations, they are more likely to get overwhelmed or overexcited at little things in the workplace, and it can be difficult to refocus their attention away from the negative aspect of a situation. This is when they blow up and express anger, frustration, and become verbally aggressive often feeling shame.

I have not had a client who did not feel remorse after their uncontrollable outburst and want to look for ways to gain control over their over the top reactions.   The strain it puts on their relationships is real and they do not want to continue to over react in situations.

It’s a tough journey to control and change how a person responds to situations, but it is possible. The key is to respond rather than react to life stressors and here are some tips to gain that control.

How to Deal With Emotional Dysregulation at Work

Set an intention to respond

Responding rather than reacting sets an intention of how you are going to deal with a situation with thought.   Even a few seconds of deciding how you will respond can diffuse your potential for an emotional outbreak.

Create a plan

Creating a plan of how to respond to different situations at the workplace can also help you deal with emotional dysregulation. Write down your plans and review them before heading to work.  Some situations aren’t worth the trouble and it is ok to simply walk away from them.

Avoid over commitment

Do not over commit yourself to lots of job responsibilities.  You do not need to be the one taking on all the extra tasks at work.   Set a limit ahead of time of what is reasonable for you.

Take frequent breaks

When someone or something really pisses you off take a short walk even if it is for 5 minutes to regroup.    You could even find a quiet place to meditate during the work day.  Some offices are actually installing “quiet meditation rooms”.

A technique I have used with clients is called the box method. It works great for calming the mind down in many situations. It is a long used stress reducing technique used by Navy Seals.  It only takes 5 minutes and can be done at your own desk.

Step 1: inhale for 4 seconds and hold your breath  for 4 seconds
Step 2:  exhale your breath for 4 seconds and hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds
Repeat

Do not disturb

Many ADHD adults are hyper-focused on a task and distraction could lead to anger because transitioning from one activity to the other is usually tough. Therefore, it is vital to be clear on what to do to avoid being interrupted by your co-workers. You can choose to put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door or use a headphone to avoid noise.

Regular exercise

Exercise is critical for adults with ADHD; it helps to improve mood and relieve stress. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend exercising, ensure that you do it regularly.

Go easy on yourself

Self-awareness is  very important when dealing with ADHD.  Once you understand your triggers and have a plan in place, you can manage  how you react to your stressors and triggers.

 Doctor Visit

Some times when you find yourself losing control and becoming too reactive at the workplace. It may be a sign that you need a change of medications. Visiting your doctor to get some medication changes could be all you need to reduce your emotional intensities.

Pick a few strategies to try and they may just help to blow out the wick before it gets started creating a better work experience for you!

Raz Coaching specializes in helping people with executive function challenges associated with ADHD, PTSD, Stress, TBI’s and ASD find careers they will love and land them. Read more at www.razcoaching.com/about Or sign up for the weekly blog and learn about my new book Happiness+Passion+Purpose.

 

5 solutions to STOP Procrastinating and Get Things Done

5 solutions to STOP Procrastinating and Get Things Done

Stop procrastinating and get things done.

Many adults living with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) struggle with procrastination, which may have a negative impact on their jobs, health, and even strain personal relationships.

Here are several techniques to help manage  procrastination and boost productivity as well as  improve your relationships.

1. Reward in reverse

Do something fun first!

Get into the right mood!  So you can do other things that are less enjoyable. You probably have a list of things you need to do but can’t seem to find the motivation to start them.  It is often said motivation and procrastination go hand in hand.  Try this out and see if it gets you motivated.  First, do something you love doing and that you consider being fun.   Find whatever makes you feel good and do it.    To help you set boundaries with the fun and not get lost in it, give yourself a limit. Set a timer for 15-20 minutes for the stimulating activity and then transition to the important tasks after the time is up.

2. Create your perfect space

If you want to be productive, you need to create the right work environment that works for you. A conducive work environment will help you feel motivated to work and concentrate better on the task at hand. For some, their idea of the right work environment is a place that’s quiet where they can harness their focus while others get things done by listening to music. Some work best under the pressure of deadlines while others prefer to set their deadlines to complete portions of a project. What is vital is that you discover what perfect work space is just right for you so you can get your creative juices flowing and get things done.

3.  Give yourself a break and cut some slack

People with ADHD tend to worry about how much time it takes to get tasks done. Don’t beat yourself up over the amount of work on your desk as it won’t help you finish it in time. To do this, you have to be positive and excited about what you’re doing. Instead of feeling bad that you can’t finish the task before the lunch break, be optimistic that you can finish some portions of it. So instead of saying “This will take forever and the deadline is drawing near,” substitute it with “I might not be able to finish it now, but I can do the first three steps within the next 30 minutes.” Being positive will help lower the guilt you feel for the wasted time and opportunities.

 Don’t be too hard on yourself!

4.   Just do it

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step.” Remember that saying? It still holds true today. The first step towards getting things done in time is starting it. A task might look difficult, but if you can bring yourself to start (even if you do it poorly), you have succeeded in doing one of the hardest parts and should find it easy following through with the rest of the task. For example, if you need to write something and you start by typing only to discover it doesn’t make sense, you’ve just made some progress because you’re no longer staring at a blank page. Just get started even if your first step is nothing close to perfect.

5.   Chunk it up

Break the tasks into small portions

Most times, a project looks insurmountable simply because we view them as a whole. Break the project into smaller portions and set a deadline to get them done, and you will see that everything becomes easy. While you’re at it, put on your blinders, so you don’t worry about how many portions are left; focus on taking one step at a time. Doing this might take a little more time, but the essential thing is that you know that you’re making some progress which can manifest itself into a lot of work being accomplished. If you stay focused and keep up your momentum, you will soon realize that you completed the large task that seemed intimidating without feeling overwhelmed.

Many of the clients that I work with say just getting started is the hardest part.

Once they try one of the above techniques to make the tiniest step forward to accomplish the task they are avoiding, they get into a flow and finishing it out is much easier.

So, I am nudging you to take action with something you are avoiding by committing to one of the 5 options I listed and try it out.   You may just start to feel some sense of accomplishment that will fuel you into get it done!

Raz Coaching specializes in helping people with executive function challenges associated with ADHD, PTSD, Stress, TBI’s and ASD find careers they will love and land them. Read more at www.razcoaching.com/about Or sign up for the weekly blog and learn about my new book Happiness+Passion+Purpose.

You Are Fired!

You Are Fired!

Tips To Keep From Getting Fired At Work When You Struggle With ADHD

At present, over nine million adults who are part of the United States workforce are living with ADHD which is a neurobehavioral condition that manifests in different forms.

Many people with ADHD are unable to manage time, stay organized, pay attention, follow directions, sit still, complete assignments and get to work on time; and that is why many struggle with their job.

In fact, research has shown that 50 percent of adults living with ADHD are unable to maintain a full-time job and even when they do, they may get fired due to factors associated with executive functions skills.

However, there are many ways people with ADHD can cope and be successful at the jobs despite their struggles.

Own It

As a person living with ADHD, one thing you must do is to accept it and come to terms with how it affects your day to day life. Once you accept it, you can look for ways to help yourself to follow the daily routines time management and accountability structures.

Seek the help of a career coach

A career coach can help a person living with ADHD to make strategies and accommodations for their jobs. They offer accountability and guidance on difficulties you might encounter; a career coach helps you navigate through job situations that might be quite challenging.

De-clutter your work environment

By de-cluttering through organizational techniques you can work more efficiently and reduce distractions.  Time to get rid of those heaps and piles accumulating on your desk or set a goal to go through them each morning before your work day becomes too hectic until the pile is gone.

Reduce Distractions

If you work in a private space, you can pick a time to get focused and produce results. People who work in a large office environment can simply get their jobs done in the conference room where there is no noise. Also, avoid taking your calls; instead you can redirect all calls to allow your voicemail take messages. Hanging a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the wall of your doorposts is another way to avoid distractions.

Reward Yourself

Learn how to reward yourself when you complete a task. This can fuel your motivation to keep up with your work load. You can do this by taking a break, reading a magazine, going for a special lunch or getting yourself a gift. With this, you can get motivated to do more.

To Say or Not to Say

Before disclosing your condition at work, you must carefully watch your employers and monitor the environment. Some employers are quite accommodating to those living with ADHD while others may use it against you and get you fired.

Keep it Positive

While ADHD can make the demands of your job difficult, there are some real positives too that it can bring. The ability to hyper focus might just pull you and your colleagues through a tough deadline or be used in a brainstorming session for product development. As much as it is important to address weaknesses, it is important to highlight the value you bring with your unique ADHD traits and often times gifts!

Accentuate the Positive and be seen as the asset you truly are in your career!

Raz Coaching specializes in helping people with executive function challenges associated with ADHD, PTSD, Stress, TBI’s and ASD find careers they will love and land them. Read more at www.razcoaching.com/about Or sign up for the weekly blog and learn about my new book Happiness+Passion+Purpose.

3 Powerful Questions to Identify Your Strengths

3 Powerful Questions to Identify Your Strengths

 I cannot see the forest because the trees are in the way!

At times we are so bogged down by the details that are in front of us each day that we miss the big picture: Especially when it comes to our own successes and failures. It can skew our perception of ourselves and what we are good at doing.

After thinking about our failures so often and for so long, we can become a bit cynical when someone says we have done a good job at something. We mainly remember failure and forget accomplishments, and it can take a heavy toll on our spirits and well-being after a while.

It’s time to take inventory of what you’re good at doing.

You have the power to change how you’re viewing the world and how it views you by understanding what you have to offer it.

When you’re confident about the things you are good at doing, you can hold your head high, answer job interview questions confidently, and perform better on the job.

It translates to your work:

When you know what you’re good at, you can transfer the knowledge to types of jobs you would be good at doing. You know what types of assignments at work to volunteer for because you know that you will probably excel at them and learn a few skills in the process. You’re better able to help newbies in the office, and you are seen as a leader in the areas you’re strong in.

……..Because You are In the Know!

Here are 3 questions to really think deeply about and to help you see your strengths in your daily tasks.

1.) What makes you truly happy?

Okay, so you might not get super stoked at the thought of creating a database of clients that your organization serves because you know it means a lot of hard work. However, you might really enjoy the creative and organizational process that the task requires, and, out of all the responsibilities you have at your job, you like this kind the best.

Outside of work, what makes you happy? Is there an activity you enjoy that really brings you joy and makes you feel peaceful or super excited? Maybe that talent or passion could be something that turns into a business that you start. Have you ever thought about working for yourself?

2.) When have you received praise for your work?

Think about the times at work where your supervisor or maybe one of your clients has been appreciative of the work you did. If you notice that the praise and thanks you receive seem to revolve around one skill, such as helping irate customers when they’re about to blow their tops, then that is probably a skill that you have that few others do.

3.) What do others say about you?

Get honest answers from others!

This doesn’t mean put out a begging plea on social media for people to tell you all the wonderful things about yourself. Instead, you can phrase your question to your contacts on social media, to people you know and who know you well, and to people whose opinion you trust more delicately.

Tell them  why you want to know: “I’m trying to figure out my strengths so that I can identify what kind of work I’d enjoy the most. Could you tell me something you think I’m good at?”

Be ready to hear some weaknesses that people may offer as well, but take those in stride and as constructive criticism. Avoid taking anything negative that people say personally.

Asking people what they think your strengths are can be very insightful. You may not even be aware of some of the characteristics of your personality or your talents that people mention, and that can be very helpful knowledge to have.

Take time to think through these questions. Sit and ponder them deeply and carefully. When you do, you’ll be able to make a list of your strengths that you feel comfortable talking about on job applications, on your resume or CV, and in job interviews. You’ll be more comfortable applying for a promotion in an area that utilizes a lot of your strengths.

Keep a list of these strengths in a place that is visible to you and keep a copy for potential career changes.

When the daily grind gets in the way of “seeing the forest through the trees,” break this list out and remind yourself of your strengths in your own big picture!

Raz Coaching specializes in helping people with executive function challenges associated with ADHD, PTSD, Stress, TBI’s and ASD find careers they will love and land them. Read more at www.razcoaching.com/about Or sign up for the weekly blog and learn about my new book Happiness+Passion+Purpose.